So like… America is kinda having a moment right now, and honestly? It’s giving “main character energy in the worst way.” The U.S. immigration crackdown has gone soooo off the rails that even Canadians — yes, like maple-syrup-loving, double-double-ordering, say-sorry-for-everything Canadians — are getting scooped up. And not just adults… GIRL. Kids. Actual Canadian children. I cannot.
So here’s the tea: since President Donald Trump took office in January, an estimated 207 Canadians have been held by ICE. That’s up from 130 all last year. And like, almost 70% of Canadians detained earlier this year actually did have some kind of charges or convictions — but now? The vibes have changed. Between late July and mid-October, 44% had NO criminal record. Zero. Zip. Nada. Just Canadians being Canadian.
And then it gets worse. At least six Canadian children have been detained. Yes, detained. As in: diapers, juice boxes, Paw Patrol… and immigration hold rooms. Two toddlers were even held in Texas earlier this year, one for 51 days, which is like… more than double the legal limit for holding kids. Girl, even my ex didn’t keep me waiting that long.
Experts are like, genuinely shook. Sharry Aiken from Queen’s University is out here saying the system has become “arbitrary” and that Canadians should be, like, actually worried about traveling to the U.S. right now. And honestly? If a law professor is telling me “pause your Target run,” I’m listening.
Global Affairs Canada is like, “yeah, we know, we’re helping,” but also low-key admitting they can’t really do much because if you don’t meet U.S. entry requirements, you’re basically on your own, babe.
And girl, the stories are WILD. A Canadian boy born in 2019 was detained near Quebec, then transferred all the way to Texas with two adults from India. A 16-year-old Canadian girl was held for three weeks with a man from Mexico. A five-year-old left for Romania. A BABY detained in Memphis with a Venezuelan woman before being deported. Like, what is happening??
Meanwhile rights groups are yelling from the rooftops about due process, saying people — especially minors — are being held in terrible conditions and rushed through deportation without lawyers. The U.S. is like, “lol no everything is fine,” even though Amnesty International literally just called out overcrowding, bad medical care, and solitary confinement at one of the facilities.
Oh, and let’s not forget: Trump’s administration still wants to hit 3,000 arrests a day, while almost three-quarters of detainees have no criminal convictions. The math? Not mathing.
So yeah Canadian bestie, if you were planning that quick weekend trip to Buffalo for cheap cheese and Target candles… maybe just, like, double check your passport and say a lil’ prayer.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Where do I unsubscribe from this chaotic reality show?
