Oh my God, okay, buckle up, because Canadian trade drama just went full messy geopolitics, and Prime Minister Mark Carney basically stood in Ottawa and said: don’t hold your breath for a U.S.–Canada trade peace deal anytime soon.
So like, here’s the vibe. Carney straight-up admitted that Canada is not close to getting President Donald Trump to chill on those brutal tariffs hitting steel, aluminum, autos and a bunch of other industries that are already crying, screaming, and throwing up. Instead of a neat little fix, Carney says this whole mess is now getting tossed into the big, scary, slow-moving review of CUSMA (aka USMCA if you’re American), which isn’t even scheduled properly yet and likely won’t wrap until next year. Translation: Canadian industries are stuck in tariff purgatory for another year or more. Cute.
“My judgment is that that is now going to roll into the broader CUSMA negotiations,” Carney said, basically admitting that the idea of a quick, targeted deal is so not happening right now. Sectoral agreement? Cancelled. Time horizons? Not aligning. Pain? Prolonged.
And just to add spice, negotiations actually were happening until October — until Trump rage-quit the talks after Ontario ran an anti-tariff ad on U.S. TV. Premier Doug Ford later pulled the ad at Carney’s request, but the damage was already done. Still, Carney insists Canada is technically open for business, saying the U.S. could “sit down this weekend” if it wanted to. Spoiler: it has not wanted to.
Behind the scenes, the U.S. trade rep, Jamieson Greer, has already sent Congress his wish list for upcoming talks, and wow, Canada made the naughty list. At the top: Canada’s dairy supply management system, the Online Streaming Act, the Online News Act, provincial buying local, and even those provincial bans on U.S. booze (hi, Doug). Steel, aluminum, autos and lumber — the sectors actually getting wrecked — barely got a mention. Love that for us.
There was some Fortress North America energy sprinkled in, like tighter rules of origin and a “Critical Minerals Marketplace,” but it’s very unclear how that squares with Trump’s whole “tariffs first, vibes later” economic worldview. Even Carney admitted Greer’s document is just “a subset of issues,” aka: the real chaos hasn’t even started yet.
Now enter Pierre Poilievre, stage right, rolling his eyes so hard they nearly detach. The Conservative leader has been blasting Carney and the Liberals for what he calls weak, passive trade diplomacy, arguing Canada should be hitting back harder instead of politely waiting for Trump to maybe change his mind. Poilievre has said Canada needs to “stand up for its workers” and stop letting steel and auto jobs bleed while Ottawa plays nice. He’s also pushed for faster retaliation and less dependence on the U.S. altogether — basically accusing Carney of bringing a spreadsheet to a knife fight.
Meanwhile, Ford is absolutely not backing down on pulling U.S. alcohol from LCBO shelves. No bourbon until there’s a deal. Period. And no regrets about the ad either. “That was the best ad that’s ever been run,” Ford said, joking that if Trump hadn’t complained, it would’ve had “12.4 people” watching instead of 12.4 billion views. Carney laughed. The tariffs did not.
So yeah. Canada is stuck waiting, Trump still calls the shots, industries are stuck paying the price, and CUSMA negotiations are shaping up to be long, loud, and extremely not demure. Trade girlies? We’re in for a journey.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Reporting live from tariff purgatory
