Canada’s Climate Status Is, Like, NOT It—Unless You Love Wildfires, GHGs, and Empty Promises!
Okay babes, so, like, Canada says it’s doing something about climate change… but the vibes are, like, mega mixed. So here’s what’s actually happening in our maple-syrup-covered disaster zone of a climate moment:
Canada’s greenhouse gas emissions in 2023 were, like, 694 megatonnes of CO₂ equivalent—which is down 8.5% from 2005. Cute, right? Except… it’s still not even close to enough. Like, Environment and Climate Change Canada literally said emissions are at their lowest in 27 years excluding the pandemic. So yeah, it took a whole global shutdown for emissions to drop like that. Big yikes.
And sure, emissions intensity—so like, GHG per dollar of GDP—has dropped 34% since 2005 and 45% since 1990, but that’s just giving strong “we’re doing our best” energy while still heating the planet. The oil and gas sector is still Canada’s biggest climate frenemy, making up, like, 31% of total emissions in 2023. That’s actually up 12% from 2005. So… progress? But like, in reverse?
Also, methane? It’s, like, 16% of Canada’s GHGs, and they’ve managed to cut oil and gas methane emissions by 33% since 2013. So that’s something. But CO₂ is still the main baddie at 79% of emissions. N₂O and other gases are barely on the board, but still vibing.
Canada did set a new target with its Net-Zero Emissions Accountability Act: 45–50% reduction by 2035, which is legally binding. But also… legally binding doesn’t mean magically enforced, besties. The government needs to, like, actually make it happen, not just vibe it into existence.
Now let’s talk about the real drama: wildfires. Like, 2023 was literally apocalyptic. Over 18 million hectares burned and the smoke was, like, transcontinental. The fires released more than 640 megatonnes of carbon, almost as much as India’s entire annual emissions. That’s not a forest fire. That’s a carbon bomb. And, like, all that carbon wildfires are spewing? Yeah, it literally doesn’t count toward Canada’s climate goals or their Paris Agreement promises. Like, it’s just… vibes and smoke, not part of the official math. Wild, right?
And it’s not over. In 2025, over 5.17 million hectares have already burned as of mid-July, with over 3,000 fires, 40,000 evacuations, and two civilian deaths. Experts say this could be the second-worst wildfire season ever in Canada. Like, girl, no one even wants to camp anymore.
Why? Because climate change has made heat waves two to ten times more likely, and droughts are lasting longer. The government’s own climate system is predicting global temps in 2025 will be 1.35 to 1.55°C higher than pre-industrial levels. That’s not just hotter—it’s full-on “our forests are carbon sources now” levels of scary.
So is Canada doing anything? Like, yeah. The electricity sector slayed a little—emissions dropped 34% from 2013 to 2023 because of renewables and kicking coal to the curb. Also, there’s a cap coming for oil and gas emissions in 2026 (unless the industry cries about it too hard), and the Pathways Alliance wants to use carbon capture tech. But it’s giving “tech bros trying to save us” and not “systemic overhaul.”
Adaptation-wise, Canada dropped its National Adaptation Strategy in 2023, with a glow-up plan expected by 2030. It’s all about working with Indigenous communities and dealing with rising disaster costs. The OECD says if Canada doesn’t get its act together, climate disasters could cost us, like, 2% of GDP by 2050. So, like, we’re basically paying to let the earth roast us.
Bottom line? Canada’s climate game is, like, mid. We’ve got the plans, we’ve got the goals, but unless we speed things up, it’s just more smoke, both literal and metaphorical. And honestly? That’s not a cute look for the planet.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Where thinking is hot and learning is hotter.
