Okay besties, so like buckle up, because America is giving the world whiplash over vaccines right now. In Florida, Governor Ron DeSantis and his ride-or-die Surgeon General Joseph Ladapo are basically saying: “You know those childhood vaccines we’ve had forever, like measles, chickenpox, polio? Yeah, let’s toss ‘em all.” Ladapo literally called mandates an “immoral intrusion” and even hinted they’re close to “slavery.” Ummm, excuse me? Did we just jump back to the 1800s?
So here’s the tea: Florida wants to scrap every single vaccine requirement for kids in schools and daycare. That means no shots for measles, no polio protection, nada. If this goes through, Florida would be the first state ever to completely ditch vaccine mandates. Critics, like Democratic Rep. Anna Eskamani, are freaking out and calling it “reckless and dangerous.” She’s not wrong—because hello, nobody wants a measles outbreak in their backyard.
But while Florida is like “no thanks” to vaccines, the bigger U.S. is doing an even scarier pivot. The Trump administration’s replacement at Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (yes, that Kennedy), just announced the U.S. is pulling out of GAVI, the global vaccine initiative that’s literally saved millions of kids’ lives in the poorest countries. Like, not to be dramatic, but this is giving “villain origin story” energy.
Let’s talk numbers, because they’re actually wild. In 1990, 13 million kids under five died each year from preventable causes. Now it’s down to about 5 million. That’s still way too many, but the drop is historic. And vaccines? They’re the MVPs here. Bjorn Lomborg, president of the Copenhagen Consensus Center, says vaccines are “one of the true wonders of humanity” and can save half a million lives each year if countries keep funding them. Meanwhile, Global Affairs Canada literally says the return on investment for vaccines is $54 for every $1 spent. Like, that’s not just a glow-up, that’s a full-on miracle.
But America pulling its billions out of global health programs? Yeah, it leaves a black hole bigger than your ex’s ego. Countries like India and Indonesia are stepping up, and Canada and Australia are pledging more support. But let’s be real: even if they empty their wallets, they can’t totally cover a USAID-sized funding gap.
And speaking of Canada, let’s dish. North of the border, vaccine policy is way more chill but also firm. Childhood vaccines for school entry are, like, totally expected in provinces such as Ontario and British Columbia, though parents can apply for exemptions on religious or medical grounds. And unlike Florida, Canada is doubling down internationally. Ottawa has already signaled it’s boosting its GAVI funding, making Canada one of the few Western countries actually stepping up while the U.S. backs out. David Morley, a Canadian humanitarian and co-chair of the Stephen Lewis Foundation, called America’s move “a threat to the greatest revolution for good the world has ever seen.” Honestly? Facts.
So, here’s the vibe check: Florida’s trying to flex “medical freedom,” but it risks turning back the clock on public health. Meanwhile, Washington is ghosting the global vaccine movement it once led, leaving Canada and others scrambling to pick up the pieces. And the stakes couldn’t be higher—because at the end of the day, this isn’t about politics or parental rights drama. It’s about kids, and whether they live or die from stuff we literally know how to prevent.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Where we wonder if, like, America forgot that vaccines aren’t just shots—they’re receipts of human progress.
