Okay babes, so like Monday was totally not just a regular Monday, it was, um, mega dramatic Monday! President Volodymyr Zelensky showed up at the White House looking all serious-chic, President Donald Trump was already flexing about how he “just hung out” with Putin in Alaska (casual?!), and suddenly we’re talking about—wait for it—trilateral talks. Yep. Trump + Zelensky + Putin = a vibe? Or like… a nightmare cocktail?
So here’s the sitch: Trump was literally bragging, “If everything works out today, we’ll have a trilat.” Like he just invented the word? Meanwhile, Zelensky—who’s honestly been through so much—was polite enough to be like, “We are ready for trilateral. It’s a good signal.” Translation: he’s not shutting the door, but also, his face was probably screaming this is fine, everything is fine.
But hold up, the European besties were NOT about to be ghosted again. Remember Friday, when Trump did his Putin summit and totally didn’t invite them? Rude. So now Ursula von der Leyen, Emmanuel Macron, Keir Starmer, Friedrich Merz, Giorgia Meloni, Alexander Stubb, and NATO’s Mark Rutte literally rolled up to the White House as a squad, like Europe’s version of the Avengers, ready to protect Ukraine’s interests. One official even said the whole point was to avoid another Oval Office meltdown like back in February, when Trump scolded Zelensky for not being grateful enough. Awk.
Now, here’s where it gets even spicier: Trump hopped on social media before the meeting and basically said, “Ukraine’s not getting Crimea back, and like, don’t even think about NATO.” He actually posted, “Some things never change!!!” with triple exclamation marks. Honestly, the punctuation screams more than the policy. Zelensky clapped back (subtly, of course), saying peace has to be lasting, not just a band-aid like 2014 when Russia grabbed Crimea and Donbas and then came back for round two in 2022.
Meanwhile, Trump’s envoy Keith Kellogg and his fixer Steve Witkoff are floating this, like, “NATO-lite” idea—aka security guarantees where allies promise to defend Ukraine if Russia attacks again. Cute concept, but also Putin literally said no to Ukraine in NATO, so this is like a knockoff handbag situation.
And the tea? European leaders are low-key worried Trump is basically vibing too much with Putin. One EU official whispered (anonymously, duh) that Zelensky might get pushed to accept Putin’s “Donbas forever” demand. Zelensky has said nope, nein, non—because it’s unconstitutional and also, um, Russia would totally use it as a launchpad for the next war. So yeah, no thanks.
Italian premier Giorgia Meloni summed it up best when she said, “Clearly there are no easy solutions when talking about ending a war and building peace.” Which is politician-speak for: this whole thing is messier than my mascara after a night out.
And babes, let’s not forget—while all this White House drama is unfolding, Russia is still pounding Ukraine with missiles and drones. Just hours before, a Russian strike on Kharkiv killed seven civilians. Like, that’s the real backdrop here.
So what’s next? Trump wants a big “deal-maker” moment. Zelensky wants peace but not at the cost of giving Putin another launchpad. Europe wants to not be sidelined. And Putin? Well, he wants control of Donbas and probably to watch everyone squirm.
The takeaway? Monday’s “trilat” buzz might end up just being another episode in the ongoing Trump-Zelensky-Putin soap opera. But the stakes—human lives, Ukraine’s borders, and, like, the entire European security system—are very much real.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
We pledge allegiance to the gossip—especially when it comes with trilats.
