Okay, so like, let’s talk about America’s DOGE—the Department of Government Efficiency—because, babe, it is messy. Like, at first, it was giving “tech bro saves the world,” but now it’s kinda looking more like “government math gone wild.”
So Elon Musk—yes, that Elon Musk—is basically running DOGE like his latest startup, slashing costs, pushing AI, and canceling contracts like it’s Cyber Monday. And he swore this was gonna save the government billions. Like, he and his team were so proud of themselves, putting out reports saying they cut $16.6 billion in waste. But, um, tiny problem—the math wasn’t mathing.
People actually started looking at the numbers, and girl, it was bad. Like, ICE? They claimed to have saved $8 billion, but oops, turns out it was actually just $8 million. That is literally a 1,000x difference. Imagine telling your bank you only spent $8 when it was actually $8,000. That’s fraud, babe. And then USAID? They copy-pasted a savings number three times, so, like, did they save $655 million once or three times? Who even knows! It’s giving “last-minute group project” vibes.
Oh, and the best part? The Treasury Department “saved” $1.9 billion by canceling a contract that was already canceled before DOGE even existed. Like, that is not how saving works. That’s like me saying I “saved money” by not buying a yacht. No, babe, you just never had it to begin with.
So obviously, when people started calling them out, DOGE had to, like, quietly change their website. Suddenly, their huge $16.6 billion savings dropped down to $9.6 billion, which, like, is still a lot, but also… not exactly inspiring confidence.
And, like, beyond the bad math, people are really starting to wonder if this is even helping. DOGE is obsessed with replacing government workers with AI and automation, but like, have they used AI? I can’t even get autocorrect to spell my name right, and they want AI to run federal agencies? Bold choice.
And then there’s the whole contract canceling situation. Some cuts make sense—like, sure, get rid of redundant spending—but then you hear stuff like the IRS being unable to upgrade its systems because DOGE slashed the funding. Or that a major clean energy project is on hold because Musk and co. decided it was “too expensive.” Like, are we saving money, or are we just making the government worse at its job?
And honestly, the real tea is who is actually benefiting. Because, babe, some of the biggest contract cuts just happen to be from companies competing with Musk’s businesses. Meanwhile, Tesla and SpaceX? Oh, they’re still getting government money. Like, interesting. Very interesting.
So yeah, the vibes are not a great start. Even some Republicans in Congress are like, “Um, is anyone checking what DOGE is actually doing?” Because so far, it’s just Musk tweeting memes while his department fumbles basic accounting. And if they already had to sneakily delete billions in fake savings, what else are they getting wrong?
Government should be more efficient, but this? This is just, like, chaos wrapped in a spreadsheet. Let’s hope they get through these teething issues and make some real, positive changes.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Image from Christopher Furlong via Getty Images
