Canada & U.S. Are Like, SO Not Vibing Right Now. So like, hi babes, it’s Valley Girl News and today we’re talking about, like, the most dramatic international friendship breakup of the year — Canada and the U.S. Like, they’re not technically at war but, um, the tariffs? The softwood lumber fights? The digital tax shade? It’s giving “economic cold shoulder” vibes.
Okay, here’s literally what went down:
So first, on March 4, the U.S. (aka Trump 2.0) slapped a 25% tariff on most Canadian goods, plus 10% on Canadian energy. Like, what? Then on June 4, he came back and was like “lol let’s double the steel and aluminum tariffs to 50%.” And we were like… rude.
Canada’s Prime Minister, Mark Carney — who, btw, is giving calm dad vibes but like, very done with this — was totally ready to fight back. Canada had these retaliatory tariffs locked and loaded — we’re talking 50% on U.S. stuff starting July 21. But then Trump was like, wait, let’s maybe talk? So Carney held off. New deadline? August 1.
And then — girl — the U.S. was like “Hey Canada, you’re not helping enough with fentanyl at the border.” Um… excuse me? We’re over here just trying to export our maple syrup in peace.
Meanwhile, Canada was, like, not just sitting around. Oh no, she was playing chess, not checkers. Cue: the Digital Services Tax. It’s this 3% tax targeting major U.S. tech companies (Google, Meta, Apple) making tons of money here but not paying their fair share. The U.S. flipped out. They were like, “That’s unfair to our tech bros!” But Carney? He stood his ground. Said it was about fairness. Honestly? Iconic.
Then at the G7 Summit in mid-June, Canada and the U.S. promised to, like, negotiate seriously for 30 days. But as of July 10, Carney was like, “There’s still no deal that works for Canada.” Like, at all.
Now Trump wants to raise the tariff to 35% starting August 1. He’s like, “comply with USMCA or pay up.” But Canada’s like, “We’re literally already complying, babes.”
And the biggest tea? Softwood lumber. It’s always about softwood lumber. Canada wants a fair deal, the U.S. keeps dragging it out, and our forestry queens are suffering.
Okay quick timeline check:
| Calendar | Drama |
| Mar 4 | U.S. hits Canada with 25% tariffs |
| Jun 4 | Steel/aluminum tariffs doubled to 50% |
| Jun 16 | G7: 30-day negotiation pact begins |
| Jul 10 | Trump says 35% tariff starts Aug 1 |
| Jul 16 | Carney says “still no good deal” |
So now it’s all coming down to August 1. Like, will they make up? Will US just start taxing everything with maple leaves on it? Will Canada imports suddenly cost more than a concert ticket for front row at Taylor Swift? We don’t know, babes, but it’s tense.
And if no deal happens? Canada might finally hit “unpause” on those 50% tariffs. And that could hit, like, everything from U.S. cars to breakfast foods. And us, honestly.
So yeah, that’s the vibe.
“Give us lumber peace and stop bullying our tech tax.”
“Pay 35% or step aside.”
And us? Just over here watching like.
We’ll keep you posted, bb. Valley Girl News out.
XOXO,
By Valley Girl News
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