Okay bestie, buckle up, grab an iced latte, and put on your “be so for real right now” sunglasses, because the Epstein files drop has officially entered its gaslight, gatekeep, redact era — and Donald Trump is acting like everyone else is just… stupid.
So here’s the tea, straight, cold, and deeply uncomfortable. Newly released Justice Department documents — yes, those Epstein files everyone has been screaming about for literal years — include an email from a New York prosecutor saying flight records show Trump flew on Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet at least eight times in the 1990s. Eight. Not “oops once.” Not “borrowed it like a Hertz.” Eight whole times. And on four of those flights, Ghislaine Maxwell — currently serving 20 years in prison for helping Epstein sexually abuse underage girls — was also on board. Cute combo!
Now, Trump has previously posted that he was “never on Epstein’s Plane, or at his ‘stupid’ Island.” Which is fascinating, because flight logs are notoriously unbothered by vibes, vibes-based denials, or Truth Social tantrums. There’s even one flight where the only passengers listed were Epstein, Trump, and a 20-year-old woman whose name is redacted.
And that’s the theme here: redactions everywhere. Like, not “protecting victims” redactions — which are obviously necessary — but “why is literally everything else blacked out” redactions. The DOJ dumped tens of thousands of pages and hundreds of thousands more photos, but entire chunks are missing, grand jury testimony is fully erased, faces in already-public photos are blurred like it’s a reality show elimination, and key documents are apparently being held back because… time? Effort? Vibes again?
Meanwhile, Trump is out here saying the Epstein files are “just used to deflect against tremendous success,” which is a wild thing to say when the files literally include him. Sir, this is not a distraction — this is your reflection.
The redaction Olympics get even messier when you realize who isn’t being protected. Bill Clinton’s photos? Fully visible. Hot tub included. Trump world keeps yelling “WHY AREN’T YOU TALKING ABOUT BILL?” while quietly ignoring that Trump’s own name pops up in emails, flight logs, photos with Maxwell, and even a note saying investigators found an image of Trump and Maxwell on Steve Bannon’s phone. But sure, let’s pretend this is all a hoax cooked up by liberal media and a Sharpie.
Even Republican lawmakers are not buying it. Rep. Thomas Massie — yes, a Republican — accused Attorney-General Pam Bondi of “working fervently to redact, omit, and delete” documents she’s legally required to release. Rep. Ro Khanna is openly talking impeachment or criminal referrals. When your own party is like “girl… what are you doing,” it’s not exactly a win.
And the cherry on top? MAGA influencers were promised a big reveal, a client list, the whole cinematic universe — and instead they got binders of recycled info and pages that look like they were edited by someone afraid of daylight. Even Trump’s own chief of staff admitted he was wrong about Clinton going to Epstein’s island.
To be crystal clear: none of these documents allege Trump committed a crime. That matters. Facts matter. But so does honesty. And when someone insists they were “never on the plane,” while records say “eight times, babe,” and then floods the zone with redactions while calling everyone else idiots — it starts to feel less like transparency and more like performance art.
So yeah. The Epstein files are out. Sort of. Some of. The truth is visible. Kind of. And Trump is once again telling everyone to ignore what they can literally see, because apparently we’re all just supposed to blink, scroll, and forget.
Sorry, but no.
We read the logs.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Seen This Guy (Against My Will)
