Okay soooo… can we not romanticize being a woman in 2025 until we talk about how we have to like, run background checks on every man who buys us a matcha latte? Because dating is supposed to be cute, not a true crime documentary in the making. This is Valley Girl News reporting Live from the back of an Uber with 911 half-dialed.
Let’s talk safety. Not the emotional kind — we mean the “I dropped my location to three friends and memorized the nearest exits” kind. Because being a woman on a first date is like playing Russian roulette with lip gloss.
You ever meet a guy and immediately Google his name, reverse image search his photos, and stalk his mom’s Facebook to make sure he’s not using stock pics from a real estate agency in Florida? Congrats, you’re not paranoid — you’re just alive.
Can we also talk about how many of us feel way safer in gay bars than in straight clubs? Like babe, the difference is vibes versus survival mode. No one’s grabbing you, cornering you, or trying to “fix” you. Just dancing, compliments, and zero threat of being followed home. It’s not just a party — it’s sanctuary.
According to a 2024 Pew survey, 63% of women aged 18–34 say they’ve felt unsafe on a date. And 82% have taken at least one “safety precaution” — texting friends a photo of the guy, turning on location sharing, or even fake-calling their roommate mid-date to plan an escape. Honestly? Olympic-level strategy.
Like babe, the only people who know where we are at all times are our BFFs, Apple, and God. Meanwhile, dudes are out here showing up in sweatpants and wondering why we’re “so guarded.” Maybe because if we say no, it might cost us our lives? Sorry Brad, it’s not personal — it’s just femicide.
And it doesn’t end with dating. Every woman you know has made up entire stories about fake boyfriends just to leave her alone at the gas station. Every woman knows to hold her keys like Wolverine when she walks to her car. Every woman has checked under her Uber seat to make sure there’s no child lock switch or secret trapdoor.
The mental load is relentless. It’s like we’re playing a live-action “Survivor” just to go to Walgreens. We do threat assessments like we’re in the CIA. Is he standing too close? Did that man follow me for two blocks or am I imagining things again? Did I lock the door? Let me check again. And again.
And when something does happen? Everyone’s like, “Why didn’t she leave?” or “Why didn’t she fight back?” Um, because she was socialized to not get murdered, Karen.
Also, reminder: self-defense is not a solution. Pepper spray doesn’t work if you’re frozen in fear. A pink glitter taser is not feminism. What we need is a culture shift — not a product launch.
And yeah, we’re tired. Emotionally exhausted from pretending we’re okay after creepy comments, near-miss situations, or just, like, always being on high alert. The mental gymnastics of not becoming a missing persons case are Olympic-level. And the gold medal? Survival.
So if we flake on a date? If we ghost a guy who gave us the ick? If we leave without saying goodbye? Babe, trust us — we had a reason.
Women don’t owe anyone politeness that could get us killed.
We deserve dates where we don’t have to text “Home safe” to five people afterward. We deserve streets that don’t require tactical plans. We deserve to exist without a constant sense of incoming doom. ‘Cause being a pray is exhausting!
Until then? Share your location. Send the plate number. And if your gut says “nah,” don’t question it. Also install TEA, the dating app by and for women, that actually gets it — with safety features like identity verification, location controls, and a vibe check so strong it could read your aura. It’s like dating, but without the fear of becoming a Netflix documentary.
Because your safety is more important than his feelings.
Period.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
We text our friends his LinkedIn before we even text back
