Omg bestie, sooo like grab your iced latte because Ottawa just dropped a TOTAL diplomatic bombshell and I’m actually still recovering. Like… Canada’s top trade queen, Kirsten Hillman — yes, the girlie who’s been holding our entire U.S. relationship together with diplomacy, caffeine, and maybe a prayer — is leaving her job in the new year. And honestly? The timing is, like, low-key dramatic.
So here’s the tea: Hillman isn’t just Canada’s ambassador to the U.S. She’s also the chief negotiator on literally everything that keeps American tariffs from totally ruining our vibes. And she was supposed to be, like, THE mastermind for the big 2026 review of the U.S.-Mexico-Canada Agreement (USMCA… or CUSMA if you’re feeling patriotic). But now? She’s stepping down before that all kicks off. Like girl, what??
Apparently she made the announcement Tuesday night like it was some casual thing. But in her interview she was all: don’t panic, besties, I’m leaving now so PM Mark Carney can, like, assemble a whole new Avengers-style trade squad before the negotiations start. And honestly? Respect. A queen knows when to bow out gracefully.
Rumour is that she’ll be replaced by Mark Wiseman, a financier dude and total Carney BFF. Hillman wouldn’t confirm it, obviously, because she’s classy like that, but she DID say the next ambassador has to get real cozy, real fast with President Donald Trump and the entire D.C. crew. And the wildest part? She was like: “listen to Trump because he means what he says.” Girl. GIRL. That is a bold statement, but honestly? Fair.
Carney himself basically gave her a glowing performance review, calling this the perfect moment for her to dip, and praising her “intelligence” and “determined action,” which is political-speak for “this woman held our economy together while we all panicked.” She’s been in Washington since 2017, and ambassador for six whole years. That’s like… 40 in political stress years.
And let’s not forget: she helped renegotiate NAFTA into USMCA, delivered CPTPP, fought tariffs, dealt with Huawei drama, helped free the two Michaels, managed border agreements, and even got Joe Biden’s EV tax credit rejigged so Canada wasn’t left on read. Like honestly? She’s THAT girl.
Oh and remember those brutal Trump tariffs? The 50% steel, 25% auto, and 35% “because we felt like it” tariffs? Yeah. She’s been fighting that fight with Trade Minister Dominic LeBlanc against Trump’s Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick and friends. Talks basically died this fall after Doug Ford ran anti-tariff ads in the U.S. and Trump was like “lol nope.” Formal talks? Frozen. Trump? Saying “we’ll see.” Vibes? Frosty.
But Hillman says that if a tiny opening appears to get relief for steel, aluminum, autos, or softwood lumber, Canada has to, like, pounce. Like girl is leaving but she’s still giving full elder-stateswoman energy.
Former PM Justin Trudeau even called her a patriot — like imagine Trudeau calling YOU that?? — and his former staff said she’s literally the kindest and hardest-working person ever.
So yeah. Canada is losing a diplomatic icon, the U.S. relationship is about to get spicy again, and the 2026 USMCA review is gonna be, like, a whole event. Grab popcorn.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Where… If Canada needs a new ambassador, I’ll go. I have vibes.
