So, like, Donald Trump is at it again with his big, bold ideas, and honestly, you won’t believe this latest. At a press conference in Mar-a-Lago, he legit suggested that Canada should, like, totally join the U.S., he’s still obsessed with buying Greenland, and he wants to rename the Gulf of Mexico to the “Gulf of America.” Oh, and wait for it—he’s talking about taking back the Panama Canal, too. Seriously, what even is happening right now? Let’s break it down.
First off, Trump thinks Canada should, like, join the U.S. and become the 51st state. I mean, can you even?! He was all, “Canada is great, but let’s face it—together, we’d be unstoppable.” Um, okay, calm down, Manifest Destiny. He even hinted at slapping a 25% tariff on Canadian goods, blaming them for, like, “illegal immigration and drugs.”
But Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, who resigned earlier this week, was not here for it. He clapped back, calling the idea “a snowball’s chance in hell.” Ouch!
And then remember when Trump was super into buying Greenland a few years ago? Yeah, he’s still not over it. He straight-up said, “We’d take care of Greenland better than anyone.” And get this—he’s talking about using, like, economic or military leverage to make it happen.
The Danish Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen called it “absurd,” and Greenlandic officials were all like, “Hard pass, thanks.” Like, can’t he take a hint?
French Foreign Minister Jean-Noel Barrot on Wednesday warned Donald Trump against threatening the EU’s “sovereign borders” after the US president-elect refused to rule out military action to take control of Greenland, an autonomous territory of EU member Denmark. “There is obviously no question that the European Union would let other nations of the world attack its sovereign borders, whoever they are,” he told France Inter radio. “We are a strong continent.”
Then there’s the Panama Canal. Trump was like, “We built it; we should have it.” Umm, sir, Panama literally owns it now? He’s mad about the fees U.S. ships pay and even hinted at using the military if things don’t go his way.
Panama’s Foreign Minister was like, “Nope. The Canal is our thing now. Don’t even think about it.” Talk about drama.
Okay, this one takes the cake. Trump legit said we should rename the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. Like, what? He was all, “It has a beautiful ring to it.”
Mexico’s response? Basically, “LOL, no.” This is giving “trying to rebrand a classic,” and nobody’s buying it.
Oh, and then he came for NATO, saying all the countries need to, like, spend 5% of their GDP on defense. That’s, like, double what they’re spending now. He’s all, “If we’re defending them, they need to pay their fair share.” Honestly, Europe is probably rolling their eyes SO hard right now.
Trump also talked about hostages held by Hamas in Gaza, but, like, he didn’t spill any deets on what he’d actually do. He was just, like, “We’ll handle it, trust me.” Okay, sure, Jan.
So, obviously, all these big ideas have people freaking out. Former Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel was, like, “This is gonna destabilize everything.” He basically said Trump’s whole vibe is “diplomacy, who?”
France’s Barrot further commented: “Have we entered into a period of time when it is survival of the fittest? Then my answer is yes.”
And in The Atlantic, one writer called Trump’s ideas “performative imperialism.” I mean, yikes. Even his critics think he’s just stirring the pot to make headlines, but, like, is anyone surprised?
As Trump gets ready to take office, everyone’s kind of holding their breath. Like, will any of this actually happen, or is it all just, like, a giant flex? One thing’s for sure—this guy knows how to keep the drama going. Stay tuned, besties, because the tea is just getting started.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
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