Okay so like… imagine a geopolitical crisis where one guy is calmly clutching international law like a security blanket, and another is basically smashing the repost button on Donald Trump like it’s fan merch. Welcome to Canada’s very different reactions to the sudden ouster of Nicolás Maduro in Venezuela — starring Prime Minister Mark Carney as the adult in the room, and Pierre P. as the guy yelling “Congrats, King!” from the sidelines.
Let’s start with Carney, who popped up on X with a statement that was measured, lawyerly, and extremely “we believe in rules, actually.” Yes, he welcomed the end of what he called Maduro’s “illegitimate regime” — reminding everyone that Canada hasn’t recognized Maduro since the 2018 election that was, in Carney’s words, straight-up stolen. But Carney also very pointedly said that next steps need to respect international law, sovereignty, and — radical idea — the will of the Venezuelan people.
Translation: Canada is not here for oil-grab cosplay.
This was especially notable because, earlier that same day, U.S. President Donald Trump casually floated the idea of America basically running Venezuela and handing its oil infrastructure to U.S. companies. Subtle! Carney did not comment directly on Trump’s remarks, but the subtext was loud: Canada is not subordinating democracy to “drill, baby, drill” energy.
Carney emphasized multilateral engagement, ongoing talks with international partners, and Canada’s long-standing commitment to human rights. He also made it clear Canada had zero involvement in the U.S. action — no troops, no assets, no maple leaf-branded regime change. Defence officials confirmed Canada stayed entirely out of it.
Experts backed him up. Former ambassador Ben Rowswell warned Canada not to let sovereignty slip in the shadow of U.S. trade negotiations, noting that in Latin America, sovereignty is basically sacred text. Former foreign affairs minister Lloyd Axworthy went even harder, warning that silence or weakness now would make Canada vulnerable later. History, he said, shows that staying quiet makes you complicit. Yikes, but accurate.
And then there’s Pierre P., and while Carney was threading the diplomatic needle, Poilievre was busy tossing confetti for Trump. In a statement on X, the Conservative leader congratulated Trump for the arrest of Maduro — praising him like he’d just personally restored democracy with a cape and theme music. Poilievre called Maduro a “narco-terrorist and socialist dictator” (fine) and said he should rot in prison (also fine), but the full-throated applause for Trump? That’s where the vibes went off the rails.
Because here’s the thing: Pierre P. didn’t say one word about international law. Or sovereignty. Or Venezuela’s right to decide its own future without becoming an oil-flavoured U.S. subsidiary. It was just blind, enthusiastic Trump support — no questions asked, no guardrails, no “maybe Canada should be careful here.” Very stan behaviour.
Yes, Pierre P. also backed opposition leader Edmundo González and democracy advocate María Corina Machado. Cool. But when your foreign policy reaction reads like a Trump campaign press release, people are going to notice.
So while Mark Carney is out here doing careful, rules-based diplomacy in a volatile region where eight million people have already fled, Pierre P. is essentially saying, “If Trump’s happy, I’m happy.” One approach protects Canada’s credibility. The other gets you a retweet.
And honestly? In a moment this fragile, Canada probably needs fewer clap emojis and more constitutional spine.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Still reading the fine print while Pierre’s busy applauding
