Okay sooo buckle up, bestie, because the Vatican just served a hot plate of holy shade and I am OBSESSED.
So like, J.D. Vance—you know, the U.S. Vice President with major “I read one theology book and got cocky” energy? Yeah, him. He’s been out here trying to use Catholic teachings (badly, I might add) to make his harsh immigration policies sound, like, morally deep or something. And Pope Leo XIV? Oh honey… he said nope.
Before he was pope, he was Cardinal Robert Prevost (total silver fox, not gonna lie), and he was already side-eyeing Vance’s theological fanfics. Like, back in Feb 2025, Papa Leo posted an article called “JD Vance is wrong: Jesus doesn’t ask us to rank our love for others” and GIRL—shots were fired.
Basically, Vance was all “Let’s use this thing called ordo amoris to love Americans first,” and Pope Leo was like “Sweetie, Jesus didn’t come down here to hand out a ranked list of who deserves compassion.” I mean, HELLO?? When did the Gospel become an episode of Survivor?
Fast-forward to now, and Pope Leo XIV is the MAIN CHARACTER of the Church. And he’s still not playing nice with fake-holy nationalism. He’s calling out anything that smells like cruelty dressed up as dogma. Immigration policies that lack compassion? No ma’am. Refugee neglect? Try again. Weaponizing scripture to justify being heartless? Blocked and reported.
And get this—even after being called out, Vance still congratulated him on becoming pope! Like, “Congrats Your Holiness” and Pope Leo was probably like, “Aww thanks bb, but I still don’t like your vibe.” It’s giving “polite at brunch, savage in the group chat.”
But for real, Pope Leo XIV is proving that being pope isn’t just, like, wearing fancy robes and blessing bread. He’s out here getting involved, speaking up on the real stuff—climate collapse, war, AI weirdness, and capitalism making everyone cry. He’s the spiritual dad who actually shows up, ya know?
And don’t even come for the “he’s irrelevant” argument. Like, hello? He’s tweeting, doing interviews, blessing same-sex couples, and clapping back at politicians—all while running the world’s most iconic religion. This man is literally doing holy PR and crisis comms at the same time.
So yeah, Pope Leo XIV isn’t just relevant—he’s the moment. He’s the it girl of moral leadership, and he came to slay, not to play.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
