OMG, like, you are not gonna believe this, but Canada just got a major political glow-up! Mark Carney, aka the finance bro turned political icon, just totally snatched the leadership of the Liberal Party. He totally crushed the competition, winning a jaw-dropping 85.9% of the vote. (RIP to Chrystia Freeland, who got, like, 8%—awkward!.) And honestly, people are obsessed with him. Why? Because he’s, like, ridiculously smart. Harvard degree? Check. Oxford doctorate? Check. Worked at Goldman Sachs? Check. Ran the Bank of Canada and the Bank of England? Double check. Like, what can’t this guy do? (Besides, like, make fetch happen.)
Justin Trudeau has been the moment for, like, nine years, but his approval ratings have been, um… not cute lately. So, like, he was out, and Mark Carney swooped in to be the new king of the Liberals. And tbh, people are here for it.
“Carney is the right guy at the right time,” said political analyst Samantha Devereux. “He has the experience, the brains, and, frankly, he’s not afraid to call out Trump.”
And, like, speaking of Trump? Carney is not playing. The former central banker has, like, major beef with Trump’s 25% tariffs on Canadian imports. And don’t even get him started on Trump’s delusional claim that Canada should be America’s 51st state. Excuse you!?
Like, Carney straight-up called Trump’s policies “destructive” and said Canada will slap tariffs right back until the U.S. stops acting like a total Regina George.
“He’s showing real leadership,” said Jennifer Martin, a die-hard Liberal supporter. “Canada needs someone who won’t let Trump push us around. And honestly? Carney is that guy.”
Okay, so, like, Carney is super popular right now, but his real test? Pierre Poilievre, the Conservative leader and, like, major free-market fanboy. Unlike Carney, who’s all about standing up to Trump, Poilievre wants a more chill, ‘let’s-make-a-deal’ approach to trade.
“Poilievre is banking on economic fears,” explained political strategist Alex McCormick. “He’s gonna paint Carney as a big-government elite who’s out of touch with regular Canadians.” Um, rude.
So, like, Canada has to have an election by October 20, 2025, but there’s, like, major talk that it could happen way sooner. Carney is on fire right now, so calling an election sooner could totally work in his favor.
Basically, Canadians are gonna have to pick between Carney’s ‘Canada first, stand-up-to-Trump’ vibes or Poilievre’s ‘let’s keep it chill and conservative’ strategy.
And, like, no pressure or anything, but whoever wins is gonna totally shape Canada’s future—especially with Trump being, like, a whole thing.
One thing’s for sure: this election is about to be major drama. Grab your popcorn.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
Image by Jason Franson/The Canadian Press via AP
