Omg, buckle up, babes, because Washington D.C. just got way messier, and you are not ready! It’s Valley Girl News here, and yes, we’re talking about Elon Musk—the billionaire tech bro who owns X (formerly Twitter), Tesla, SpaceX, and now apparently, America’s political future?! I cannot.
Sooo, here’s the sitch. Elon is feuding with President Donald Trump—yeah, he’s still the president, wild right?—over Trump’s latest mega-spending bill. And because Elon can’t stay out of the spotlight for five seconds, he’s now threatening to shake up the two-party system. Yup. He’s launching what he’s calling the “America Party”—like, who even needs subtlety?
Elon, basically the richest dude on the planet, casually oversaw massive government cuts after Trump’s second presidency began in January (omg, yes, second presidency—this timeline is unhinged). He posted on X that his lil’ party could just, you know, focus on “2 or 3 Senate seats and 8 to 10 House districts” to hold Congress hostage on every major issue.
“Given the razor-thin legislative margins, that would be enough to serve as the deciding vote on contentious laws, ensuring they serve the true will of the people,” he posted, like he’s auditioning for a “House of Cards” reboot.
Oh, and get this—it all started when Musk dropped a poll on X during the Fourth of July (because what’s more American than a Twitter poll?). He asked his fanboys if he should start his “America Party” to take down both Republicans and Democrats, who he now calls the “uniparty.” And guess what? Over 65% of the poll’s 1.25 million votes were like, “yes, king!”
Elon was loving the attention, posting, “Independence Day is the perfect time to ask if you want independence from the two-party (some would say uniparty) system!” Like, okay, George Washington, calm down.
Then Saturday came, and Musk was on one. He dramatically declared, “Today, the America Party is formed to give you back your freedom.” He also ranted, “By a factor of 2 to 1, you want a new political party, and you shall have it! When it comes to bankrupting our country with waste & graft, we live in a one-party system, not a democracy.”
Elon even reposted this unhinged meme of a two-headed snake (like, subtle much?) labeled “uniparty” with GOP and Dem logos. He simply replied, “Yes.”
Oh, btw—he doesn’t even have to register the party yet because, like, unless he officially spends money on a federal election, it’s just vibes and X posts.
BUT WAIT. There’s more.
Elon already spent $277 million backing Trump’s reelection last year—because billionaires, amirite? And Trump rewarded him by making him head of the “Department of Government Efficiency” (nicknamed Doge, because yes, memes run the government now). Elon immediately went full techbro mode, cutting jobs and agencies and bragging he saved $190 billion.
Buuut turns out his chaotic cuts may have cost taxpayers $135 billion. Like, oopsie?
Now Elon’s mad because Trump signed a budget bill that could hike US debt by $3.3 trillion. He swears he’ll fund challengers against every member of Congress who backed it.
The bill squeaked by in the House 218–214, with just two Republicans defecting. In the Senate, VP JD Vance (yes, seriously) broke the tie, and Trump signed it right after Elon’s X tantrum.
Trump, btw, is so done with Elon’s rebellion. He’s threatening to deport him—yes, deport Elon Musk, a naturalized citizen since 2002—and even hinted at cutting Tesla and SpaceX’s fat government contracts. He posted on Truth Social, “Without subsidies, Elon would probably have to close up shop and head to South Africa.”
And then, Trump told reporters: “We might have to put Doge on Elon. Doge is the monster that might have to go back and eat Elon. Wouldn’t that be terrible.”
Girl. What is even happening anymore?
Anyway, stay tuned. American politics is basically a Netflix drama now, and you know we’ll keep you posted.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
