Over the past week, we’ve written A LOT about Trump and tariffs and trade wars and literally said we won’t write any more for at least a week… but now, we can’t help it because it’s literally NEWS that affects everyone. Because things in America right now? Yeah… they’re kind of a hot mess. Like, remember when trade policy used to be boring and full of math and suits and, like, economists with glasses? Well buckle up, because under Donald Trump, it’s giving chaos, conspiracy boards, and seriously questionable spreadsheets.
So here’s the sitch: The U.S. recently slapped major tariffs on a bunch of countries—China, Mexico, Canada, Vietnam, the EU—you name it, we’re taxing it. And we’re not just talking little baby fees. No girl, we’re talking like 34% on China, 25% on Canada, 18% on Mexico, and a wild 46% on Vietnam. A lot of countries seem to have received a random 10%, too. Like, who came up with these numbers? A mathlete? A trade wizard?
Um… no. Turns out, it was a tiny little team inside the Department of Commerce, and get this—they weren’t even using traditional economic models. Nope. According to leaked memos and some spicy reporting, the tariffs were calculated based on, like, social media sentiment, election polling, and which countries made swing state voters feel “betrayed.” I wish I was kidding.
So basically, if people in Ohio or Pennsylvania were mad about losing factory jobs and someone posted a viral TikTok about “foreign greed,” that country got slammed with a tariff. Like, is that actual policy now?? Are we setting trade laws based on retweets?
The White House is calling it “innovative” and “responsive,” but economists are calling it, like, completely unhinged. Senator Amy Klobuchar literally said it felt like “trade policy written by a campaign intern.” Even Republicans are getting spicy about it. Some of them are not thrilled that Trump is turning America’s global relationships into a reality show.
And honey, the drama doesn’t stop there. China? Furious. They’ve already banned new Chinese investments in the U.S., and there’s talk of even more bans. The EU is threatening to bring us to the WTO, and Japan is demanding “full transparency.” Even Canada called it “economic bullying with no receipts.”
Like, imagine taxing your friends at brunch and not even explaining why. That’s what we’re doing on a global scale right now.
And while Trump’s loyal fans are all “America First, yay!” there’s growing tension inside the Republican party. Some lawmakers are totally over the drama. Nikki Haley, for example, didn’t even endorse him after Super Tuesday. And GOP strategists are warning that this isn’t just bad trade policy—it’s bad for business, bad for farmers, and bad for the economy. One Republican even said the party is acting like “a petty ex.” Ouch.
Now let’s talk consequences. Countries are already leaving us out of trade deals. Like, literally ghosting America. They’re forming regional partnerships that don’t include the U.S. at all. America’s influence is shrinking and global trust in the country is, like, fading faster than a spray tan in the rain.
Even the U.S. Chamber of Commerce is panicking. Their CEO said, “Tariffs should be based on economic need, not vibes and Twitter trends.” And girl, she’s not wrong.
So like… is Trump ruining America? Depends who you ask. His supporters say he’s just protecting U.S. workers and being tough. But critics say he’s turning serious policy into campaign stunts, alienating America’s allies, and making economic decisions with, like, a horoscope app.
One thing’s for sure—if you’re an international company, a U.S. farmer, or literally just an American citizen trying to buy groceries, you’re already feeling the effects. Prices are rising, exports are tanking, and the whole world is side-eyeing America like “what is going on over there?”
Honestly? It’s giving drama, dysfunction, and a whole lot of delusion. So yeah, grab your popcorn, because this trade war is just getting started—and we’re all stuck in the group chat.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
