Okay, so Elon Musk is basically, like, totally taking over Washington right now? And, um, people have, like, major feelings about it. Some are super into it, like, “OMG, he’s so efficient and cutting government waste!” while others are like, “Wait, is this, like, legal?”
So, here’s the sitch: Elon is now in charge of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE—yes, like the meme coin, lol), and he’s, like, slashing and burning his way through government agencies. One of his biggest moves? Targeting the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau (CFPB) to, like, make it way smaller and less powerful. Plus, he’s also looking at shaking things up at places like the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) and the Department of Energy.
And, like, obviously, this is super controversial. Some people are all, “Yay, fewer regulations!” while others are like, “OMG, he’s destroying critical services?!” The biggest drama, though, is that Musk is, like, bringing in a bunch of his own engineers from Tesla and SpaceX to, like, totally rework how the government operates. And let’s be real, Washington is not Silicon Valley, so this whole vibe shift is making a lot of people nervous.
But wait, it gets even messier! Musk’s DOGE department just got, like, super sketchy access to the U.S. Treasury’s payment system, which, btw, handles, like, six trillion dollars in payments per year. Yeah. That’s, like, Social Security checks, tax refunds, and, um, literally everyone’s money.
Apparently, a career official at the Treasury, David Lebryk, was like, “Nope, not happening,” and got placed on leave, which is, like, super sus. Then, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent was all, “JK, DOGE can totally have access!” and, um, people freaked out.
Democratic Senators Elizabeth Warren and Ron Wyden were, like, “Excuse me, what?!” and are demanding an investigation because, um, yeah, why does Elon Musk need access to federal payments?! And now, like, nineteen states are suing to stop this whole thing, and a federal judge was like, “Actually, yeah, DOGE can’t have access right now. Also, delete anything you already looked at, kthx.” There’s a big court hearing on February 14, so, like, get your popcorn ready.
Meanwhile, let’s check in on Musk’s empire.
Tesla? Kinda struggling. The stock has been, like, all over the place, and even Musk’s own brother, Kimbal, just dumped $27 million worth of Tesla stock. That’s not exactly a vote of confidence, you know?
SpaceX? Absolutely thriving. The company’s value just shot up past $250 billion, which is, like, totally insane. But, I mean, they are basically running America’s space program at this point, so, like, go off.
X (formerly Twitter)? Uh, yikes. Advertisers are still avoiding it, revenue is down 28% from last year, and even though Musk keeps saying it’s, like, almost breaking even, the vibes are very much not giving success.
And politically? Musk is, like, way more powerful than people realized. He’s been using X to, like, totally shift public opinion and even helped kill a major bipartisan budget deal just by posting about it. Like, imagine tweeting so hard that Congress changes course. That’s literally what’s happening.
So, yeah. The guy is basically reshaping the U.S. government, messing with the Treasury, making some businesses flourish while others flop, and causing nonstop drama in D.C. Whether he’s, like, saving America or totally ruining it depends on who you ask, but one thing’s for sure: it’s gonna be a wild ride watching a private citizen try to run the US government like a private company.
Stay tuned, besties.
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
