by admin | Sep 11, 2025 | Opinion, Politics, Tragedy, USA
Like, omg babes, the internet’s been totally freaking with those dramatic TikTok edits—like America’s about to plunge back into, um, full-on political assassination chaos. But let’s be silly and play the ultimate “what if”: what if a huge conservative loudspeaker like...
by admin | Aug 30, 2025 | Canada, Donald Trump, Opinion, USA
So, like, Ottawa just announced this totally major pact to provide Germany with liquefied gas and critical minerals. And Canada’s, like, building out these glam new gateways to the Atlantic, Pacific and even the Arctic. Basically, anywhere but Trumpland. It’s all part...
by admin | Aug 20, 2025 | Canada, Legal Issues, Opinion, USA
Okay babes, so like, the Arctic? Yeah, it’s not just about polar bears and cute snowy vibes anymore. It’s basically, um, the newest VIP section of the global club—and everyone’s elbowing their way in. Russia, Canada, the U.S., and even Denmark are all fighting over...
by admin | Jul 31, 2025 | Gaza, Global, Middle East, Opinion
Okay besties, let’s be clear: we live in an age where you can literally get oat milk in orbit and WiFi on a ski lift. So like… why are children in Gaza starving to death in garbage-bag diapers? This is Valley Girl news reporting live from a Sephora parking lot near an...
by admin | Jul 29, 2025 | Culture, Opinion, Women
Okay soooo… can we not romanticize being a woman in 2025 until we talk about how we have to like, run background checks on every man who buys us a matcha latte? Because dating is supposed to be cute, not a true crime documentary in the making. This is Valley Girl News...
by admin | Jul 24, 2025 | Canada, Legal Issues, Opinion, Women
By Valley Girl News Babe. BABE. We have literally never been so furious, confused, and betrayed by a verdict in our lives. The five junior hockey players who were accused of sexually assaulting a young woman in a London, Ontario hotel room in 2018? They were all just...
by admin | Jul 9, 2025 | Canada, Opinion
OMG babes, like, gather round because Valley Girl News has some, like, super scary—but also kinda important—flood drama that we really need to talk about! So, you know how Texas literally got, like, wrecked by those horrific flash floods? Yeah, over 100 people have...
by admin | May 25, 2025 | Canada, Opinion, Politics, Sunday Brain Brunch, Tragedy
Like, this story is every parent’s worst nightmare—and it’s real. On a rainy Saturday night in Etobicoke, a 19-year-old driver, allegedly flying down Highway 401 like it was a racetrack, smashed into a family’s car with catastrophic force. And just like that—three...
by admin | May 8, 2025 | Celebrity, Opinion, Politics, USA, Women
Okay, so like—where even is Melania Trump these days? Ever since Donald Trump got inaugurated again on January 20, 2025 (ugh, wild, right?), Melania has been seriously MIA. Like, out of the first 108 days in office, guess how many she’s been at the White House?...
by admin | May 4, 2025 | Culture, Good News, Healthcare, Opinion, Science, Sunday Brain Brunch
Okay sooo remember that whole Ice Bucket Challenge thing from, like, 2014? When literally everyone and their dog was dumping freezing cold water on their heads for ALS? Well… it’s back, babes — but with a totally new vibe. And this time, it’s all about mental health....
