Your fave Valley Girl guide to geopolitics, gossip, and global glow-ups
Okay babe, gather ’round because Canada’s new hottie PM Mark Carney just made his debut on the world stage at the G7 Summit in Kananaskis, Alberta, and omg—he totally slayed. Like, we’re talking full power suit, and diplomacy that even your therapist would stan.
So what went down? And like, did anyone actually praise him? Uhh yeah, bestie, the vibes were immaculate.
Canada’s G7 Glow-Up: Carney Edition. First of all, this was Mark Carney’s first big “I’m the main character now” moment as Prime Minister. And girl, he understood the assignment. Instead of turning the summit into a screaming match (like, cough, previous years), he brought major “let’s be adults” energy.
Carney’s theme? “Protecting the global community, duh.” Basically, he was like: “Let’s talk security, energy, AI, wildfires, jobs, and Ukraine.” And everyone went, “Yasss, finally some focus.”
And even texting with Trump (Yes, seriously). Now, don’t spill your iced oat milk latte, but Carney actually got along with Donald Trump.
Apparently, Marky-Mark was texting and calling Trump in the weeks before the summit like it was a new situationship. He was all like, “Hey Don, let’s just keep things chill at G7, k?” And honestly? It (kind of) worked.
Welcoming India, Mexico, Australia & Hugging Ukraine.
Mark didn’t stop at managing Trump. He also expanded the guest list, inviting India’s Prime Minister Narendra Modi and President Claudia Sheinbaum as well as Prime Minister Albanese. Like, bold move considering their recent drama over trade. But Carney was like: “India is the fifth-largest economy, duh. We need them at the table. And Mexico and Australia needs strong trade partners”.
AND he welcomed Ukraine’s President Zelenskyy to the summit. Because yeah, Russia’s still being the absolute worst, and Ukraine needed the backup. Zelenskyy literally called their convo “substantive and supportive.” Ugh, we love a diplomatic king.
Oh…And Bye-Bye boring communiqué. You know how G7 usually ends with a joint statement everyone fights over? Yeah, Mark was like, “let’s not.” Instead, he served up sleek little issue-based summaries. Less mess. More clarity. No public meltdowns.
Honestly, that’s like choosing tapas over a 9-course meal—you still get everything you want, but way less drama and bloating.
The World Was Living For It. So who praised him?
- UK’s Keir Starmer was like “Canada’s back, baby!” and totally fangirled over Carney’s cool-headed leadership.
- Modi posted a whole thank-you tweet saying he was, like, “honored and energized” by the G7 invite. Major Namaste energy.
- Sheinbaum proposed establishing a broad North American agreement covering security, migration, and trade.
- Zelenskyy gave him a glowing review and basically said “thank you for not ghosting us when it matters most.”
- And even EU officials were, like, “Okay Canada, we see you. Multilateralism is hot again.”
The Vibe Check? He passed with honors. Mark Carney walked into the G7 like the chill valedictorian who studied and still made the party playlist. He handled messy drama, got everyone to sit at the table without flipping it, and kept Canada’s reputation clean, green, and globally relevant.
No one screamed. No one stormed out. Just Trump trumping and didn’t stay for dessert.
So yeah, bestie—Canada’s PM just became the geopolitical zaddy we didn’t know we needed.
Now pass the climate plan and let’s get to work!
XOXO,
Valley Girl News
